The majority of my friends fit into two categories:
1 - The friendships that make me feel good.
2 - The friendships that don't.
Why would I call someone who doesn't make me feel good a friend? To be honest, I never considered this before, but have recently found that these friends are the best kind.
The other night, in an international Skype conversation I got annoyed because he repeated the same thing as our last conversation and the one before that. He reminded me of my potential and how my current path is heading to self-destruction. He pointed out my re-occurring habit of failure to do anything about it. My heightened emotional defenses were up, my words punched back at him through the iPad screen. In our banter of "I don't want to say 'I told you so'" and "Dah! Would you stop already!" I told him in anger that he always made me feel bad. Then I slammed the end call button and cocooned myself in the dark silence of my room.
That's the thing, it's easy to hide in the dark.
I was furious. I knew he was right, he normally is. Of course my version of the story is more dramatic and harsh than what he really said, but come on! my pride was taking a pretty serious blow. Even worse, I was mad at myself for not listening to him.
The majority of my friends don't make me feel that way. Normally we laugh together. We talk about this and that. We adventure. We love spending time together. But I rarely am challenged to my core. So I've found that a friend who dares to catapult stones at the foundation of who you are is worth keeping close. They test your fortress to make sure it is strong enough to endure anything and if need be, they will help reinforce your castle walls.
A true friend is one who cares enough to tell you the truth, even when it hurts.
He gently and lovingly brings you out from the dark places.
He gently and lovingly brings you out from the dark places.
Thank goodness someone loves me enough to help me through the worst of me.
And in the end there are two friendship categories:
1 - The ones that make you feel good.
2 - The ones that make you great.